The Forgotten Art Of Listening

You must be wondering why I called listening a “forgotten art”.

It has been said that we have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen (at least) twice as much as we speak.

Now let’s be completely honest... when someone is speaking to you, are you truly listening to what they are saying, or are you already formulating a response in your head?

Do you find your mind drifting to other things like what to cook for dinner or your next meeting?

Then ask yourself: How much of what they said do you remember the next day?

With so much of our communication happening digitally, I don’t think we put as much effort into connecting with people when we meet them face to face. We can still listen over the phone, but there is something special about meeting someone in person, making eye contact and getting a feel for who they are.

In listening to someone, you find out what they think, how they feel and what they have experienced. It helps you to connect to them and to build a relationship.

So, why is listening so important to your business?

1.    Listening to your clients will help you to understand what they really need from you. They might not know how to start telling you, so a great way to get the ball rolling is to come up with a few exploratory questions to ask them. As you listen to their answers it will probably spark off more questions, which will help you dig deeper into how you can make a real difference in their lives and businesses. If you have a clear understanding of what your client needs, you can save time and cut straight to the chase.

2.    Listening to your mentors will help you to fast-track your progress and to avoid the mistakes they have made. Your mentors have already walked the road you are walking, so take note of what they are saying and work out how it applies to you. Be willing and open to take constructive criticism and ask lots of questions. They might not know what you need help with, so take time to prepare before every meeting.

3.    Listening to your loved ones will help you to remember what your priorities are. They love you and will always want the best for you, so listen to the things they say with this in mind. It doesn’t mean that you will always agree with them, but it’s good to know they’ll always have your back no matter what happens. You might just be amazed at how much wisdom they have to share with you.

4.    Listening to your body is a little different in that it’s not the audible kind of listening. It’s important to be aware of when you need to eat, or rest, or move. As entrepreneurs we can get so wrapped up in our work and reaching our goals, that we forget about taking care of our bodies. A healthy body means a healthy mind, which you definitely need to build a business successfully and sustainably. You only have one body, so please take care of it.

When you give your full attention and focus to someone, you are telling them that you value what they have to say and that you respect them. Don’t we all want to be valued and respected?

If you believe in treating others the way you want to be treated, think about how good a listener you are. How would you rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10? Is there room for improvement?

I don't believe in multi-tasking. Be in the moment with the person you’re having a conversation with and give them the attention they deserve.

I challenge you to become a better listener and to make the other person feel like you truly care about what they have to say.

Be kind. Listen more. Talk less.